Running (Part I)
Monday, June 28, 1999 - 7:30 AM.
"Shit. God
that
hurts." Todd was hobbling down the road. He had been
trying to get in his morning jog, when bad footing caused him to twist
his ankle. Now he was in the middle of nowhere trying to walk back home.
It was miles back. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" Just what he needed. He should
have borrowed Shelley's cell phone. If he did, he could have at least
called for help. Todd loved running - after awhile the rhythm and the
exertion put you into a mindless, trance like state. There were a clump
of trees 30 feet ahead, limping he got there in a couple minutes.
Grabbing the trunk of the closest tree, he lowered himself to the
ground. From his position, he could see up and down the road about a
mile in each direction.
"Damn!" what else can go wrong? Now that he was out
of the
sun, it
wouldn't be so bad. He was thirsty, but he carried a small water bottle
that would hold him over until someone came along. He'd have to wait,
that's all. The road led out to the Sommer's Farm, and he'd seen people
drive down it, every so often, when he ran. He was in the same class as
Will who lived out there. He would occasionally fantasize about Will,
but more often than not, it was Will's friend, Bart, would be the one he
fantasized about. But they never seemed to go anywhere without the
other. A couple times, I almost thought, or rather hoped, they might be
gay.
His sister, dated Bart's brother, Zack. Zack scared
him. After he
told Shelley he was gay, he made her swear that she'd never tell Zack.
Actually, he made her swear that she wouldn't tell anyone, but Zack in
particular. Todd really didn't see what she saw in him, now Bart on the
other hand. Nothing much to do but daydream.
"Todd, you all right?" Bart asked. He and Will were
riding by
when
they spied Todd under the tree. Just nobody, but nobody, was ever found
along this road. And then when they waved and Todd just sat there
staring out into space, they were worried that something was wrong.
"I am now." Todd was still half way in his dream
world. Then
he
realized this wasn't a dream, and sputtered out, "I mean, I will be now.
Bart" nodding to each in turn, "Will."
"What's the matter? You hurt yourself?" Will asked.
"Yeah, twisted my ankle back there. Was hoping
someone would come
along. It took all I had to just get here. ... I was wondering if you
could go call my house, if Shelley's home she'll come get me." His
spirits revived noticeably.
"Hey, Bart why don't you ride back to your house.
Maybe Zack's
still
there and he can give Todd a ride." It was closer to Bart's place than
his. "I'll just stay here and keep him company till you get back."
Bart gave him such a look. He didn't want to leave
Todd and Will
alone together. Maybe, Will doesn't think Todd's gay, but Bart would
have bet money on it. But the problem was Will just made too much
fucking sense. All he could do was go. "Yeah, I'll go. But you two
behave yourselves. I'll be BACK shortly." Will, just started
laughing.
Bart got back on his 10 speed and headed to his house.
Todd felt lost, as if he missed something, "What was
so
funny?"
"Oh never mind, just a private joke between me and
Bart."
Todd saw this as an opening on getting to know Bart
a little better.
"You're pretty good friends with him, aren't you."
"You could say that."
"Shelley, said that he was into the Blues. I guess
Zack told
her."
Will, suddenly found the conversation more
interesting. He could
talk for hours about Bart. "Yeah, this cousin of his from Topeka
started it all. Me, give me rock-n-roll," then as an afterthought, "But,
I do like jazz once in a while."
"Cool. ... Did you know that there's this big blues
and jazz
festival in KC coming up? It's a whole weekend. My sister, Zack, and I
are going. Shelley got us the tickets, it was for my birthday last
week." Todd was trying to figure out if he could get Bart to go along.
It would be great to spend 3 days with him. "Do you think Bart might
want to go along?"
'Warning, warning, warning, Will Robinson' Started
going off in
Will's head. He was beginning to wonder where this was leading. Todd
couldn't be interested in Bart, or could he. Trying to sound
noncommittal, "I don't know you'd have to ask him."
"Will, do you know if he has any girlfriends?"
"No, ... no he doesn't." This is getting too real.
Trying to
switch
the subject, "So, you run out here a lot?" The temperature under the
tree jumped 10 degrees.
"Yeah, is Bart into jogging?"
Whoa, That's it. We're not going to talk about Bart
anymore.
"Todd,
have you figured what you're gonna do after next year? Going to school?
Get a job? What?"
"Me, I'm gonna try for a cross-country scholarship.
There are
couple
schools I'm lookin at. I think I wanna be a vet. ... What about you ...
and Bart?"
"Gonna go to school, just don't know where
yet. Thinking of
goin
into pre-law like my brother Ted."
"What about Bart?"
"What all this shit about Bart? Why you so
interested in him
all of
sudden?"
"Ah .. ah.. it's nothing. ... His brother goes
out with me
sister
Shelley. and I was just .. I don't" Todd realized that he was being way
to obvious asking about Bart. Maybe, Will'll ignore it,
"Bart was right. You are gay aren't
you." Looking
at Todd, Will
just knew it too.
"Wha ,, what do you mean? Bart was right
about
what?"
"Bart tried to warn me, but I said
'nah'. He thought
you were
after me, It's Bart you like." Will had this big grin on his face now.
He obviously wasn't saying this right, cause Todd started looking like
he was panicking."
"Will I don't know what you're
talking about. I
was just inter..
I just wanted to get to know Bart better. And what business of yours
anyway?" He can't even escape. He was trapped.
"It's just that if you were, I'd
have to teach
you the secret
handshake and welcome you to the club,"
Todd was totally confused. "Will,
what the fuck
are you talking
about!?!"
Suddenly the playfulness left
Will's face.
"Todd, ... you can
trust me, ... I mean it, ... Are you gay? I wont tell anyone, promise."
Oh God, I hope this isn't a
mistake. Looking
into Will's eyes,
he says "Yeah, I'm gay." There were two now, Shelley and Will.
Todd looked relieved as if
he was no longer
knotted inside.
Will, knew he shouldn't say anything about Bart without Bart's ok. But
he couldn't let Todd not know. It was so great when you finally had a
person he could talk to. "Todd, in case, you were wondering, I'm gay
too. So you don't have to worry about me telling anyone."
He could hardly
believe it. Will was gay!
What about Bart -
better not go there now. Will, did say that Bart 'warned' him about
Todd. "Will, you're really gay? I don't know anyone else who's gay.
Figured I was the class queer out here in the land of Dorothy and corn.
Shit if it wasn't for the internet, I be completely screwed up."
"Todd, you don't fool
around in this
town, joking about being
gay. I really am gay." then a grin from ear to ear covers his face
"Wanna learn the secret handshake?"
"You're full of shit!
... you are
aren't you?"
This was too much for Will.
He started laughing
so hard that he
began rolling around on the grass. "Todd, you're just to much." Then
Todd started laughing too. This was just too great. There was so much he
wanted to ask. "Will, are there any other, you know gay people
around
here?"
"I know a couple of guys. But
before you ask, I
can't tell you
who they are. Round here, you got to be real careful. Does anybody else
know about you?"
"Yeah, my sister Shelley knows.
But she promised
not to tell
anyone, and I believe her. What about you?"
"Well, Bart knows." Shit! this is
deja vu.
I'm repeating what
Bart said to Zack only different. "And my brother, Ted, knows. You don't
have say anything if you don't want to but have you ever ..."
Todd felt so really good through
and through.
"No, I'm what you
would call a 'virgin' in all ways. OK your turn."
Now, Will begins to wonder if he
should have brought
it up.
"Well, I'm a 'virgin' in some ways but I have plans for that."
"Todd could I tell someone I
trust, I mean trust
with my life,
about you? You don't have to worry about him, honest." Todd if
Will
knew him and trusted him, it's about time he met more people out there.
"Sure, Will"
For the next while, they sat
there talking and
laughing. Todd
was in second heaven.
To Be Continued...
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back to "stray e-mail, part one"