Zack flopped down at the computer he shared with his brother and switched it on. "I don't believe it, for once, thank you god, for once." He was referring to the fact that his younger brother Bart wasn't on the computer feverishly printing then deleting page after page of stuff. "I dunno what he thinks is so secret that he's always gotta delete it all, if he had any idea of the stuff I download, he'd probably pass out." He could sort of tell what Bart was doing when he was using the computer, it seemed to be mainly e-mail stuff and from his bed across the room, Zack could distinguish printing and deleting but not much else. There were a few pics but Bart was so fast at looking at them and getting them off the screen again that Zack could never see any details. He did often think to himself "atta boy", assuming that Bart was downloading pictures of naked girls too. Zack spent his time on the internet surfing for naked girls, he couldn't get enough, even though he had a girlfriend, this was different, this was forbidden, especially in the heart of the bible belt. He downloaded his favorites but he sure as hell didn't delete any of them. Bart spent so much of the time dragging stuff to the trash and emptying it and then going in and clearing the caches that it had to be something juicy.

It sucked that they had to share a computer but they each had their own password to their own secret hideaway inside the one thing that could link them to a world beyond row after row after row of corn, corn everywhere, nothing but corn - at least they had the computer and the Internet. "I hate corn", the lanky seventeen year old muttered to himself.

As Windows finally opened up, he did a double take because there was a stray e-mail on the desktop. "Weird, the little guy's always so meticulous about his stuff, I can't believe he'd forget to recycle this. He's such a weird kid, I love him, but he's a weird kid, he's so funny and smart but it just seems like there's at least half of him that nobody knows, not even me. Weird."

Zack started typing his way into his little enclave, putting in his password, reaching for the enter key, then hesitating, staring at the little e-mail icon, then going ahead and entering, ready to get together with his "favorites" for a few special moments, just the two of them, or the three of them, or occasionally the four of them.

Zack was very much like most of the other boys he'd grown up with. They hated living in a tiny agricultural town in the middle of the bible belt, they were completely obsessed with beer and girls and sex, they tried as hard as they could to be exactly like each other in every possible way, they hated queers, dykes and the drama department freaks who didn't seem to mind being hated by Zack and his friends. The drama freaks actually took it as a supreme compliment.

Zack and his buddies liked to get as drunk as they possibly could on the weekend without actually passing out or dying of alcohol poisoning. They really liked driving around in their pickups looking for someone to harass. There were a couple of gay boys who had been outed at church during testimonial hour when anyone was free to stand up and share their innermost experiences with their savior. Some devout soul considered outing someone the perfect way to procure himself a straight and narrow pathway to the hereafter, into the pure and beautiful light of the righteous. And these two boys knew better than to set foot outside their homes between Friday afternoon and Sunday morning. There was always the potential of something really bad happening to them if they did and it most definitely would have happened and it most definitely would have been really bad and it most likely wouldn't have led to a single fucking arrest, not in this tiny town where people had their heads screwed on straight and knew the difference between right and wrong, between sanction and abomination.

Zack and his buddies hated queers with a deep deep deep passion and this made them rather dangerous. Zack wasn't ignorant, he wasn't stupid, he was actually a rather sensitive creative boy when he wasn't being watched, but with his friends, he was dangerous. He'd been marinated lovingly in a stew of evangelical venom by his parents, and certain things had soaked into him, had oozed in right through his skin over the years, until they were a part of who he was. All of his life he'd been exposed to the surprisingly vicious comments made by his parents about the queers, the jews, and satan's most heinous minions, the abortionists. Church-going people, Zack's family, church going for generations and filled with a deep righteous terror of all things outside the ever tightening circle of a religion gone mad.

He couldn't resist. He backed out of the Internet after saving an animated .gif of "Cindy and Mindy".

He double-clicked the wayward e-mail and began to read. "hmmmmm... looks like a chapter of a story."

Ste sat looking at the palms of his hands, trying to figure out exactly how they got so sweaty when he was this nervous, this upset. Where did the sweat come from? Where was Jamie? They really needed to talk.

They'd had a bit of a falling out and Ste felt as though someone had chopped off a part of his body.

Zack shook his head and smiled. "Damn, I know that feeling. I hate it when me and Shelley fight. That's exactly what it feels like, exactly." He read paragraph after paragraph of a story that seemed to describe so well all of the feelings he'd felt when he and Shelley had first fallen in love. It almost made him cry, it brought so many strong beautiful emotions flooding back.

Ste hadn't seen Jamie for two days and he couldn't stand it much longer. Suddenly, none of it mattered, nothing mattered in the least. Because there was Jamie, walking toward him, wearing the same nervous expression that he knew he was wearing himself but still looking more beautiful than ever. Jamie was so sweet, so perfect, but those big blue eyes so full of hurt and love melted him completely. As they looked at each other, the pettiness of their absurd little argument just melted away.

"Nice. Kind of romantic." He continued to scroll down, completely absorbed by the tenderness of the story, allowing himself to let go of his macho facade for just a few moments and it felt good, it felt really good. "Gawd, Shelley would love this. I love it. If any of the guys caught me right now, I'd never live it down but this is really really sweet."

Shelley was Zack's girlfriend. Shelley loved love stories. Zack loved love stories although he would never admit it to anyone on the planet, not even Shelley. "Jamie and Ste..... what the hell kind of name is Ste? Must be a misprint except they've done it all the way through so far. Jamie's such a pretty name though, always liked that name. Jamie Peckham, my first crush. In first grade... gawd, I totally forgot about that. She's still pretty cute. But Ste?? What a weird name. Anyway, who cares, this is really really sweet." He continued scrolling through the paragraphs.

Jamie: Can we talk?
Ste: God it's good t'hear your voice, Jamie. I... yeah, let's talk.
Jamie: Ok.
Ste: Ok.

They giggled, so relieved to be together again and wondering who was going to go first. Jamie sat down in front of Ste and reached out, taking his hand. Ste closed his eyes as the feel of Jamie's silky skin washed over him in a warm soft wave, the way it always did when he felt it, when he ran his fingertips over it. He couldn't stop the images floating through his mind of he and Jamie lying naked in each other's arms, making love... Jamie took his breath away.

"hmmmm, maybe there's some sex in it, that'd be cool. They are in love, after all."

Jamie: I'm the one who went stormin off on Tuesday so I guess I... Ste, I'm really sorry... I...

Jamie eyes were starting to brim with tears and Ste reached out to brush one of them from his cheek as it fell...


"Whoa!! His cheek????? His cheek????????????? Fucking hell!!!! What the....... Jeeeezus Fucking Christ, this is about two boys, oh shit, shit shit shit shit shit!!!" He leaped off the chair, knocking it over, and retreated to the other side of the bedroom, spinning around to glare at the computer. "I'm reading about queers, oh gawd, I don't believe this!!! fuck fuck fuck..." He went back to the computer and closed the e-mail quickly, picked the chair back up and sat back down, staring at the screen. He had a blank look on his face but his mind was anything but blank. It was short-circuiting with the realization of what he'd just been reading, short-circuiting from what it had taken in when his guard was down. Tenderness between two boys, love between two boys, a really really sweet love story about two boys. His mind slowed down for just a moment to allow him to process a tiny fraction of it, all he could really handle at the moment. "I don't get it..... I just don't get it........ I know it's only a story but it's like they really loved each other... fuck... oh man... what the hell could Bart be thinkin... gawd.... " His mind went back to thrashing around in a state of complete confusion and near panic. "But this means.... but... Bart's been savin this stuff... jeeeeeeeezus, no wonder he deletes it after he prints it out.... oh, shit, what am I gonna do now... "

It was too late, his mind and his heart had already been touched by something true and good and there was no going back... ever... Zack had begun to wake up, Zack had seen something crucially important, Zack had read about Jamie and Ste. It was too late, Zack had been touched by Jamie and Ste and there was no going back.

"But this means... aw, fuck, Bart, we gotta talk... we really gotta... "

As he heard the noise in the hallway, he looked up to see Bart coming around the corner. Bart looked like an exact replica of Zack, only a year younger and a few inches shorter, otherwise they could be mistaken for each other. Except that Bart would never be caught dead in the Metallica "Reload" t-shirt Zack was wearing and Zack would never be caught dead in the Pat Boone "In a Metal Mood, No More Mr. Nice Guy" t-shirt that Bart was wearing.

Bart froze as he stared at the computer screen, then into his brother's eyes, then back at the computer screen for another fraction of a second and then he was gone, dropping his pack, running out of the house, the screen door banging with Zack close behind him, blind panic driving him as far away from his brother as he could get.

"Bart, wait!!"

Bart really needed to throw up but he ran faster and faster.

"Bart, damn it, stop!! Come on, Bart, hold up!!"

Each shout that reached his ears cranked his panic up another several notches.

"Bart, please!!! Come on, Bart, I just wanna talk to ya for a second!!"

Zack's legs were longer that Bart's and it was inevitable that he would be caught and as Zack finally closed the gap and grabbed his arm, Bart swung around, nailing Zack square in the jaw with his fist.

"Get the fuck away from me, Zack!"

He tried to get loose from Zack's grip but it was no use, his older brother was taller, faster and stronger than he was. He took another swing at Zack's head but Zack ducked and it threw them both off balance and they tumbled to the ground, Bart still fighting like someone in the grip of a very very real fear. Eventually, Zack pinned him to the ground by sitting on him, ignoring the knees that were pounding him in the back, knocking the wind out of him and the left foot that kept arcing around to smash him in the back of the head. He had Bart's arms pinned and there was no way he was going to get away. And suddenly Zack could feel the energy and will simply drain out of his younger brother's body. Through his tears, Bart hissed.

"Go ahead, aren't you gonna beat the crap out of me? Why don't we call up your drinking buddies. We can get a keg and let them join in on the fun. Y'always wanted your very own queer t'bash. You could probably keep me alive for several hours, maybe even days... here I am... C'mon, Zack, I'm all yours now, I don't give a fuck anymore, here I am... go ahead, go make a few calls, I'll wait for you... what's the point in running... what's the..."

Bart broke down, trying to turn his face into the ground so that his brother wouldn't see him cry, wouldn't see his humiliation for the few remaining moments before he started smashing his face in.

"I'm going to let go, but if you try and get away, you know I'll catch you again."

"Whatever. Fuck you, Zack. Fuck you and fuck your friends."

"Look, I'm really not enjoying sitting on you, you're kinda bony, you know. I just want to talk."

"Fuck you, Zack."

"Bart, if I was going to hit you, I'd have done it by now, wouldn't I?"

Bart glared into his brothers eyes and saw something he wasn't expecting. Zack really meant it. Zack confirmed it with an inquisitive nod and Bart responded with a rather hostile nod in return. Zack climbed off of Bart and collapsed on his back in the grass next to his brother. They'd ended up in the middle of the huge grassy field behind their house. They stared up at the clouds like they'd done hundreds of times together as their breathing slowed.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Fuck you, Zack."

"Look, ya little shit, I will beat you up if you don't quit saying that!"

Bart turned to his brother, still with the same venomous expression on his face. Again he hissed.

"That's not funny, Zack, it's not funny at all. Boys die from getting beaten up by guys like you an your drinking buddies so don't even fucking joke about it. You know what? Never mind. Go ahead an joke about it all you want. I'm so sick of it all, it doesn't even matter to me. I'm tired, I'm really tired and I don't think I really even care anymore."

"I do."

He said it softly and Bart was somewhat taken aback. He fixed his brother with an icy stare.

"Do you really want to talk?"

"Yeah, I think I do."

"You think you do?"

"I do, I really want to talk."

As the two brothers looked deep into each other's eyes, they realized that something very important had changed.

Jamie and Ste opened hearts.