Ted & Gary Part 4


Monday July 5th @ 3:30 AM

"Ted, are you awake?" Gary asked, in a whisper, so as not to wake
him, if he was a asleep. But he hadn't heard the steady breathing
pattern that indicated Ted was sleeping soundly. "Yeah, I'm up, just
laying here thinking, and enjoying holding you."
"Is there anything wrong?" Gary inquired.
"No, I was just remembering that day you told me you were gay."
With that Ted gave Gary a small hug. "You know you really scared the
shit out of me."
Gary retorted, "Shit! You stood there not saying a word. I figured
you were so shocked that you wouldn't talk to me. I went into my room
and threw myself on the bed."

Gary was thinking, "Why did I say anything? It was that fucking
movie and Ted talking later when he said 'Looked like he was going to be
in the closet for the rest of his life, and that's sort of sad when you
think about it.' Christ, what does Ted know about closets? The look on
his face said it all. You could see that he was shocked. On top of
everything else, he'll probably never speak to me again, just when I
thought I had made a friend.
Ted, also was laying in his bed, staring out the window. He
couldn't believe what Gary just told him. Ted wasn't sure if he had the
courage to tell anyone. He would never have just come out with it like
Gary. He felt like a real idiot. It must have taken lot of balls to say
that to Ted, it was the last thing he expected to hear. Ted stood there
with his jaw flappin in the wind. Ted thought, "I've got to tell him
that it's all right. But the real question is do I tell him about me."
After hiding for years, Ted has a crippling fear of being found out.
Back in Algo Hermoso, queers got the shit kicked out of them. It may the
90's here the 1990's, but back in Algo Hermoso it was the 1890's. If it
ever got back there, he'd be royally fucked.
Ted waited in the cafeteria from the time it opened until they
closed for breakfast. He went searching all over campus. Checked the
library and the gym. Gary was nowhere to be found. So Ted headed back to
the dorm. He went over and knocked at Gary's door. Gray's roommate
answered and said he was out. Ted asked if he could wait for him to get
back. 25 minutes later Gary walked in and saw Ted sitting there. 'Hi
Ted. ... Let's go outside."
Gary had dreaded this meeting all day long. He didn't expect to find
Ted sitting on his bed waiting for chrissakes. Gary led Ted to some
benches near the alumni fountain. They both sat down staring straight
ahead, watching the lights play with the water's colors. Finally Gary
broke the silence, "Let's get this over with. Say your piece and then
leave if you want to."
Ted, "I don't want to leave. ... Gary, I wanta apologize for last
night. You told me something that was obviously important, very
important to you and I stood there. ... To say I was shocked is an
understatement, last night as I lay in bed I thought of all the things I
should have said. How it didn't matter, how I was still your friend, ho"
Gary interrupted, "Ted please stop this being nice to the homo shit, I
don't want your pity" Ted continued, "how I knew it was a tough thing
you did, how I didn't think I could come out and say it to you."
Gary turned to look at Ted and noticed the sweat dripping off his
forehead. "What do you mean? And don't fuck with me, I'm not really in
the mood."
"Gary, please, if you want to hear the words so bad." turning to
look him the eyes, he says, "I've never told anyone, half the time not
even myself, but ... I guess I know 2 gay guys now. You see, ... I'm gay
too."
It was Gary's turn to sit there speechless. Finally, he says, "are
you sure?"
"No, I just like putting myself through hell for the fun of it.
You shithead, of course I'm sure." They didn't say much but kept sitting
in the shadows around the fountain. But after a little while Gary felt
Ted take his hand and intertwine their fingers. They sat there knowing
that they were changing the lives without saying a word.
They got up and headed back to the dorm, when Ted looked around to
see if anyone could see them in the shadows. He turned Gary around
toward him, looking into his eyes, he cradled Gary's face in his hands,
and lightly kissed him on the lips in a long lingering kiss. "I've been
wanting to do that for a couple of days now"

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back to "stray e-mail, part one"