Saturday Night - Bill & TK, part two
Saturday Aug 7th @ 10:30 PM - The King House
Near where farmland started, along the western edge of the King
property, there was a shallow depression. It was no more than fifteen
feet across and less than 2 feet deep. But if you were laying down in
it, you felt as if you were alone in the universe. The stars were so
bright tonite, that they cast shadows on the ground. Bill and TK were
laying on their backs staring at the stars, TK's head using Bill's chest
as a pillow. The terrible beauty of the night sky, reminded them of the
vastness of the world around them. But tonite, instead of being
intimidated by an infinite universe, the were reminded that they weren't
alone any more.
They talked in hushed voices not wanting to disturb the night
quiet. Bill was idly playing with TK's hair, running his fingers through
it, occasionally twisting it into rings. TK's mind keeps drifting off
the conversations, he is being haunted by 5 words Bill said before Shell
interrupted them. He was scared of the question that was burning in him.
Finally, not being able to take it any longer, he stopped Bill in
mid-sentence, "Bill, did you mean it?" "Mean what?" "Back
at he gazebo,
you said 'God, TK, I ... love you.' Well did you mean it? ... I could
understand if it sorta slipped out and you didn't really mean it. ...
Sort of like signing e-mail with 'love, TK', it's not the same. ..."
"No, it wasn't like that at all." Bill answers, "I meant ... it. But
don't let me push you. ... If you don ..." "Before you say anything,
else, let me talk. ... I never got to say anything before. ... First
there was the kiss and then Shelly. ... " Taking a deep breath, "I've
known I ... loved ... you since in Topeka, when we dropped you off."
"Why didn't you say something?" "Cause I was worried about scarin' you
away, and ... and ... it scared me."
TK reached up and held on to Bill's arm, "I couldn't stand
the idea
... that you might not feel the same way... and I was afraid ... of
letting you down... not being there ... if you needed me. ... I don't
want live through that again." "Through what again?" "The whole
fuckin
world fallin apart, ... ya see ... I was ... with my dad ... he got in
a ... car accident, I tried and tried to pull him free, but I ... I just
couldn't, ... I was the only one there ... and I couldn't do anything
and he died. ... He fuckin' died." TK sits up and pulls his knees to his
chest, "You don't know how scared I've been, that you'd need me to be
there for you and all I did made no fuckin difference. ... I don't want
to lose you."
Bill moves so that he's sitting next to TK, with his arm holding
on
to his shoulders. "Todd, don't. ... We'll be there for each other. ...
you'll see." Bill grabbed onto to TK and decided that he'd never let go.
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back to "stray e-mail, part two"