Ted & Gary, Part 5

Monday August 16th @ 7:30 PM

Telephone Call

Ted:  "Yes, Sommers home."
Gary: "Ted? That you?"
Ted:  "Gary, christ it's good to hear your voice. I miss you so..."
Gary: "I know. Every morning I reach over to pull you close to me..."
Ted:  "Gary, please don't."
Gary: "OK. But I do miss you."
Ted:  "Ah ... Well how's life treating you?"
Gary: "Would 'for shit', answer your question?"
Ted:  "Yeah same here. ... By the way, Will's  got a bug up his ass."
Gary: Chuckling, "That's Bart for you."
Ted:  "No you idiot. A bug not a bugger." laughing.
Ted:  "Actually, Steve and Mark contacted me about all the legal crap we
went through. Cuz Mark want's to do the same thing. Not that Steve
doesn't wanna do it. But it was Mark's idea."
Gary: "So what does Will have to do with it?"
Ted:  "My little brother has turned inta a Party Queen. He slowly got
Bart used to the idea, then he talked to Mrs. King, you know, Grams."
Gary: "I see it coming."
Ted:  "He told her they should do something to show how we all cared.
Shit he played up all the sentimental crap til she finally agreed to
help. But just as he thought it was all down hill from there. She says
'as long as Steve and Mark say it's alright'.  Sos they all traipse
upstairs to talk to 'em."
Gary: "Let me guess, Steve said yes and Mark said he wasn't interested.
Right?"
Ted:  "Wrong both accounts. Bart said that Steve had said he didn't
think so, Then Mark took Steve into the kitchen to talk. A couple
minutes later, Steve says he's changed his mind, and that Mark and him
think it's a great idea. ... Well to make a long story short, Will is in
charge of the celebration and Grams and Bart are going ot help. So
consider yourself cordially invited to come out for a party. It's gonna
be Saturday, September 25th."
Gary: "I'll be there for sure."
Ted:  "Great! ... You are coming this weekend too aren't you?"
Gary: "Of course. I couldn't go another week without you, without a
kiss."
Ted:  Smiling to himself, remembering, "You weren't always that
interested in my kisses."
Gary: "That's always been the problem, you make a kiss an invitation to
burn up, ... like your setting the world on fire. You can make a kiss
scary. Scared to kiss back and scared not to. Now I am scared to be
without them." There's a catch in his voice, "Ted, ... I love you more
... more than you can imagine."

     '... and lightly kissed him on the lips in a long lingering kiss.'
That was the real start, Gary thought. Ted made that first move. In the
shadows near that fountain, he knew that alot of things became clear.
But at the time, all he knew was that it was the first time he was ever
'kissed'. Gary thought it was over all too quickly. He wanted to pull
Ted back to him, but didn't. His head was spinning.

       The evening turned from anticipated rejection to a kiss, a kiss
that was already haunting him. Gary wasn't sure that he was ready to ...
to what ... to  live out his dreams. This was moving way too fast for
him. The freshman pre-med student who up until two days hadn't admitted
to anyone that he 'liked' guys. Up until yesterday, when he came right
out and told Ted, he could always still hide. He'd opened the door and
now with a kiss he was being dragged the rest of the way. He wanted time
to think. Years of fighting back emotions and desires still was screwing
with his life.

     For Ted, the kiss was the final step. The feel of their lips
touching and the tightness in his chest, the blood rushing in his ears,
the momentary shiver of feeling dizzy, and, mostly, the shattering of
the walls he had erected around himself, all had cascaded through him.
He could feel Gary kissing him back moving his lips over his with  his
tongue darting out. He stopped briefly to say, "I've been wanting to do
that for a couple of days now."  Shit, there was no question in his mind
anymore. But suddenly Gary broke the spell, he moved back and away from
Ted.

     All Ted could think was that he crossed a line he didn't know
existed. He thought he knew, but Gary obviously felt different about it,
"Gary, I ... I am sorry. ... I guess I wasn't thinking." Ted had been
sure that Gary had felt the same. But just ... no buts! "What the fuck
is wrong? That was no fantasy I dreamed up. I felt ... I knew you liked
it. ... Oh my god, there's someone else. Isn't there?" Gary stood there
afraid to open his mouth. Knowing that he had to maintain control.
Anything he could think to say would have ended with him in Ted's arms.
After a third of his life had been spent denying sex, he just couldn't.

     Ted turned and walked away. He wondered how he could be so stupid.
Gary was looking for a friend, a fucking platonic friend. It came to
Ted, as he walked back to his dorm room, that Gary had never said, "I'm
gay, and I want you." he heard what he wanted to. Then Ted realized that
he was the one who grabbed Gary's hand, he was the one who kissed Gary,
not the other away around. Ted knew that it was him that pushed himself
on Gary. When he got back to his room, he took the phone off of the
hook. Ted's roommate was staying with his girlfriend. So when there was
a rapping at the door, Ted covered his head with a pillow. He was too
embarrassed to even check who was out there. Eventually the knocking
stopped, so Ted lay there on his back staring at the ceiling. The
problem was that  he knew that he was in love with Gary and Gary wanted
something or someone else.


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back to "stray e-mail, part two"